7 COMPONENTS OF EFFECTIVE PARENTING

1. BE CONSISTENT

And thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thine heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy might. And these words, which I command thee this day. shall be in thine heart: And thou shalt teach them diligently unto thy children, and shalt talk of them when thou sittest in thine house, and when thou walkest by the way, and when thou liest down, and when thou risest up. And thou shalt bind them for a sign upon thine hand, and they shall be as frontlets between thine eyes. And thou shalt write them upon the posts of thy house, and on thy gates.—Deuteronomy 6:5–9

Consistency gives security. Parents cannot be moody-up one minute and down the next. Jesus was always the same. Parents must be as well.

2. BE PRAYERFUL

Except the Lord build the house, they labour in vain that build it: except the Lord keep the city, the watchman waketh but in vain. It is vain for you to rise up early, to sit up late, to eat the bread of sorrows: for so he giveth his beloved sleep. Lo, children are an heritage of the Lord: and the fruit of the womb is his reward. As arrows are in the hand of a mighty man; so are children of the youth. Happy is the man that hath his quiver full of them: they shall not be ashamed, but they shall speak with the enemies in the gate.—Psalm 127

If you are not praying for your children, who is?

3. BE RELATIONAL

Include much time and laughter. Rules without relationship breeds rebellion. Work on being close to your children.

My son, give me thine heart, and let thine eyes observe my ways.—Proverbs 23:26

And he shall turn the heart of the fathers to the children, and the heart of the children to their fathers, lest I come and smite the earth with a curse.—Malachi 4:6

4. BE RULING

Parents must make and follow the rules for their home. The leader is to rule his house well. Have biblical rules. Follow them yourself. Teach the children to do so as well.

• The child’s will must be broken.
• Remind yourself of the end of rebellion (Cain, King Saul, Absalom, Prodigal son, etc.).
• Expect obedience.

Children, obey your parents in the Lord: for this is right.—Ephesians 6: 1

• Insist on honor.

Honour thy father and mother; which is the first commandment with promise.—Ephesians 6:2

• Provoke not… by yelling, by comparing, by expecting perfection, by impatience, or neglect.

And, ye fathers, provoke not your children to wrath: but bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord.—Ephesians 6:4

5. BE WORKING THEM

Even a child is known by his doings. Whether his work ba pure, and whether it be right.—Psalm 20:11

6. BE A TEAM!

Behold, how good and how pleasant it is for brethren to dwell together in unity.—Psalm 133:1

As both parents bathe in the Bible, philosophies begin to blend and unify.

7. HAVE A GOOD MARRIAGE

Someone said, the greatest gift my parents ever gave me was seeing their great marriage. I encourage you to read good books on marriage and continually work on improving your marriage.

By Mike Ray